


One Piece Out of Place

by SquidofVoid



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Constructive Criticism Welcome!, Humanstuck, I Don't Even Know, Illustrated, Illustrations, Multi, My First Work in This Fandom, Still Planning it Out, Transformation, Weird Plot Shit, ~ATH
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-21
Updated: 2013-01-25
Packaged: 2017-11-26 08:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/648407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquidofVoid/pseuds/SquidofVoid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was one book which changed it all. One fateful birthday, one fateful present, one fateful program, twelve fates twisted forever. If only Karkat Vantas had double-checked his work. If only somebody had bothered to Read The Fucking Manual...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. [Prologue] The Birthday, Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work, so I'm not sure what I'm doing right/wrong, but I'm pretty certain I can't write Karkat or Sollux.  
> Anyway, I'd love to hear any critique about it. 
> 
> Also can be found at my stupid blog, squiddious.tumblr.com

Start: Be the bearer of the fateful gift

You are now a certain ARADIA MEGIDO, current student at Alternia Tech and aspiring archaeologist. At the moment, though, you are currently on your way to your boyfriend’s apartment to help set up for his roommate’s surprise birthday party. Tucked under your arm is a quickly yet meticulously wrapped book, the likes of which you have only ever seen before on Sollux’s bookshelves. Even those don’t have much in common with this thick hardcover manual for a programming language you don’t believe you have ever seen before. Briefly, you consider asking Sol about it, but shake the thought away as you decide that it will be better if it’s everyone’s surprise. Many things, you reflect as you’re walking up the street to the soon-to-be-party, are better left surprises.

 

Aradia: Arrive

At last, you arrive at the thirteenth floor of the nondescript modern block which currently houses several of your friends. You’ve been to Apartment 413 enough times to hang out with your hacker boyfriend to become slightly more familiar than you’d like with his perpetually irritated, angry sometimes-friend, sometimes-enemy roommate Karkat. Honestly, you won’t even pretend to understand the subtleties of their complex relationship. Maybe they were childhood friends? Family connections? All you know now is that they ended up rooming together with clearly drawn lines separating their respective halves and neutral areas of the apartment, and the angry little ginger being jealous of Sollux’s “sweet hacks.”

Using this information, you decided to give Karkat a little help on a subject which you knew very little about. You liked the book’s feel of crisp pages, and its fascinating aura of incomprehensible age. Some of the codes seemed a little…strange? No matter. You’re confident that they’re going to figure it out just fine. But you’re getting off topic.

 

Aradia: Knock on the door, already!

As you knock at the door, a familiar face appears to greet you,  “ARADIA! YOU MAD-E IT AFT-ER ALL!!! COME ON, W-E’R-E FINISHING TH—E ICING ON TH-E CAK-E!” Smiling, you step over the threshold and into a hive of bustling activity. It seems like everyone else has already shown up, and as you watch Feferi rush off with her full head of dark brown hair flowing out behind her, probably to go stop Eridan from royally fucking something up again, you notice the balloons clustered up in the ceiling’s crevices, the streamers being hung like spiderwebs across the room by one Vriska Serket, and Terezi whacking her with her dragon-headed cane. Including yourself, you count ten college students crammed into a room which has probably never seen more than four at a time. As you set the gift down on a convenient side table, you go off in search of the second reason you’re here right now.

 

Aradia: Locate Sollux

You head off in the direction of the shared bedroom. Just as you expected, Sollux is sitting cross-legged on his side of the room hunched over his laptop, his red and blue frameless glasses slipping down his face. “sup AA,” he shoots without removing his eyes from the screen, “how’s iit going?” He only looks slightly annoyed when you run over and give him a hug, pausing his coding to look up and fix his shades. You remember the lisp he’d had when the two of you had first met, how much he’d hated it back in Middle School with a pound of metal stuck to his teeth. You smile, “Let’s g0 back and wait f0r Karkat. C0me 0n! Get y0ur gift and we can g0 ambush him.”  
He smirks and saves his file.  
“What did y0u get him, anyway?” you inquire, as he gets to his feet.  
“iit’s a surprise, AA. and your answer’ll probably be the same,” he says as the laptop disappears into his desk. He’s fairly tall and lanky, short black hair in messy bangs on his forehead, spiked out on the sides (as always). You’ll never understand how he gets it to stick up that way.  
The two of you enter the main room just as Nepeta is peeking through the peephole and whispershouting,  “:33 purrlaces everyone! Karkitty’s here!”

Aradia: Be Karkat 

You are okay with that. You become Karkat Vantas, whose twentieth birthday has been kinda shitty so far for reasons that probably will never be explained, because they are not really relevant. Currently, you are about to enter the apartment you are forced to share with one of the most annoying people you know. 

As your keys jangle on the novelty crab keyring Terezi bought you one year at the school carnival, you could swear you hear people moving around inside. Immediately, you dismiss the thought. How would they even have gotten in, and why? You sigh and as you flip the light switch-HOLY SHIT WHY ARE THERE NON-SOLLUX PEOPLE HERE?! 

“Happy Birthday, Karkat”

“H4PPY B1RTHD4Y!! >:]”

“uH„, HAPPY, BIRTHDAY„”

“HaPpY mOtHeRfUcKiNg 20Th, BeSt FrIeNd!”

“eheheh. happy bday KK”

“GLUB!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY 38D!”

Oh. Well then. 


	2. [Prologue] Birthday Party 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If something's up with the text colors, I'm sorry. There was some weird stuff going on while I was trying to upload the chapter.

Karkat: Party!  
Okay. You have to say, you definitely weren’t expecting anything like this. If anything, you expected to only have some cake and be done with it. You most certainly were not expecting your entire (admittedly small) Pesterchum contact list to ambush you. Sollux probably hacked it or something, the magnificent bastard. But right now, that was only an afterthought. Much to your surprise, you were actually not hating this. Hell, you might even be having some fun. Soon, you’re drinking way too much Faygo, eating all the cookies (all of them), and dancing your ass off to the playlist Terezi got from her F4VOR1T3 COOLK1D. Finally, as everything starts settling down, food running out, Eridan for the most part not even suggestively leering at anyone (HOLY SHIT STOP THE PRESSES), you flop down on one of the sofas next to the former food table. It is time.

Karkat: Begin the Ceremony of Offerings  
“GATHER ROUND, FUCKASSES. BRING FORTH YOUR OFFERINGS TO MY GREAT SELF, AND MAYBE I WILL GRACE YOU WITH THE HONOR OF YOURS BEING THE FIRST UNWRAPPED.”  
“:33 *ac pounces forward, offuring her pawesome purresent to the great King Karkitty!*”  
“Heeeeeeeey! W8 a minute kittygirl, we didn’t even have a chaaaaaaaance!”  
“SHUT UP SPIDERBITCH. I’VE GOT MY FIRST GIFT AND YOU WERE TOO SLOW. DEAL WITH IT.”  
“All Right. Settle Down, Everyone. According To The Ancient Rules Of Birthday Parties, The Opening Of The Gifts Is A First Come, First Messily Unwrapped Affair.”

Karkat: Open Box #1.  
Well, it doesn’t really feel like a box. Maybe a book? Hopefully not more shitty romance novels. You still have enough of those from last year to keep you going till graduation. You carefully peel up the first piece of tape from the lime green paw print-patterned wrapping paper. Methodically, you remove the paper in one piece to reveal...  
A sketchbook! You should have known. The note scribbled on the inside of the front cover read, “:33 To Karkitty, fur all your ships. Happy Purrthday! xoxo” She’s blushing too when you look up at her, and you hear a few snickers from around the room as you walk over and give her a thank-you hug and kiss. At this, her face goes completely red, and you think she might be purring. Eridan whistles and Sollux claps slowly as Feferi starts glubbing uncontrollably. You think you are probably about as red as she is when someone tells Terezi what’s going on and she unleashes her trademark cackle, “OOH, K4RKL3S! SOM3ON3’S LUCKY TON1GHT! >;]”  
Finally, after quite a bit of shooshpapping, you’re ready.

Karkat: Gift #2  
“alriight, KK. you know who has two have the second piick”  
“Whaaaaaaaat? ::::( Come on, Vantas. Give us a fair chance.”  
“VRISKA, YOU’RE NOT THE ASSHOLE OBSESSED WITH THE NUMBER TWO. IF IT’S THAT IMPORTANT, YOU CAN BE EIGHTH. OF COURSE, IF YOU JUST WANT TO BE YOUR USUAL LUMPSUCKING WHINY SELF YOU CAN JUST LEAVE NOW.”

You aren’t expecting much from him, you have to say. Usually, he just throws whatever he has lying around at you with a ‘happy biirthday, fuckass’ and absconds. So you’re a little surprised when you open the red and blue box to find...  
The Sims 3! And all the expansion packs! ALL OF THEM!! This is exactly what you wanted. You’d only been dropping hints for a few months, and weren’t sure if he’d actually notice in time. His smug grin widens, and Aradia wraps her arms around him, whispering something that sounds something like ‘y0u have g00d taste in surprises’ before you are too overcome with the possibilities of what could be in the remaining nine packages to care about their stupid surprises. 

Karkat: This is Taking Too Long! Attempt Rare and Highly Dangerous x8 Gift Open Combo  
You fail, because you simply cannot open eight gifts at once. What a ridiculous thought. You can, however, attempt a Rare and Slightly Less Dangerous x8 Gift Open Montage instead.

Karkat: Attempt Rare and Slightly Less Dangerous x8 Gift Open Montage  
This time you succeed. As some kind of awesome song plays in the background, you open those presents and accept those offerings.  
Gift #3 is from Kanaya, who manages to slip it into your lap just ahead of Eridan, who makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like ‘wweh.’ It’s a red and grey zip-up hoodie with the Cancer symbol printed on the back. It’s like the ones she made for everybody else, with corresponding zodiac symbols and favorite colors. You smile and slip it on.  
Gift #4 is the one Eridan was poised to deliver, suspiciously wide grin plastered on his smug face. You’re pretty worried, actually. As he waggles his eyebrows, you decide to get it over with and find...My god, you find...a framed photo of him and you? What?! You’re trying your hardest not to notice the purple frame with the phrase ‘Friends Forever’ printed on it. The photo looks like the one that he got Feferi to take during your group trip to the beach last year - the one where they were ridiculously good swimmers, Nepeta wouldn’t go near the water, and poor Tavros almost drowned. What a perfect fiasco. Ah, memories. Some best forgotten.  
Gift #5 suddenly appears in front of you, along with a derpy Gamzee and no more explanation than a, “HeRe’S a LiTtLe SoMeThInG fOr YoU, bEsT fRiEnD,” and a honk. You’re not even sure how he makes that sound or how he moves that fast. The messily thrown together wrapping paper badly conceals a hideously clashing pair of red and purple gloves and a bike horn. You look up at him quizzically. “GAMZEE. WHAT ARE THESE?”  
“My HeArT jUsT uP aNd ToLd Me ThAt ThEsE hErE tHiNgS aRe MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLeS, aNd I kNeW yOu ShOuLd HaVe ThEm. :o) HoNk.”  
Welp.  
Gift #6 is chucked at you by Vriska. “HEY SPIDERBITCH, I THOUGHT YOU WANTED 8TH?”  
“Duuuuuuuuh, this isn’t mine. Terezi couldn’t w8 and I got 8ored.”  
So this one’s from the Scourge Sisters. Terezi wasn’t even completely blind yet, but she still needed that cane, and people to tell her what was going on. The package is squishy, so it’s probably not more roleplaying books. You open it to find a large stuffed crab and plush dragon thing. There are a few moments of silence before you realize how awesome this is. How could she have known? Her trademark cackle makes you wonder if she could smell your reaction or something. “H3H3H3, 1 KN3W YOU’D LOV3 1T, K4RKL3S!” The cherry red dragon is a bit weird, though. Aaand it’s time to move on.


	3. [Prologue] Birthday Party 3; Final

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the last page of the prologue is up! As always, I'd love to hear your comments/criticisms. I'm thinking of drawing up some illustrations for later chapters.

Karkat: Realize your Gift Count is off

You’re halfway through your epic gift montage when you suddenly realize that you have one more package than you thought before. It is currently in the hands of Aradia.  
“HEY ARADIA. WANT TO COME GROVEL BEFORE MY FEET FOR THE HONOR OF PERHAPS HAVING ME CONSIDER YOUR TRIBUTE?”  
“that’s 0kay, Karkat. i w0uld prefer if y0u 0pen mine last, in fact.”  
“DO YOU REALLY WANT TO RISK ME RUNNING OUT OF FUCKS TO GIVE?”  
“like i said, i’d like y0u t0 0pen mine last, regardless.”  
“FINE, FUCKASS. DON’T BLAME ME IF I DON’T GIVE A SHIT AT THE END.”  
Now that that’s done, you can continue, but now you can’t help but wonder what she got you. 

Karkat: Continue Montage

You do that.  
Gift #7: Feferi slaps another squishy package down in your lap as you are about to make another announcement. How dare she. Before you can start your rant, though, she giggles, paps you on the side of your head and shooshes you. Gogdamnit, shooshpapped again. You just give up and open the thing. It’s an expensive looking scarf, hand knit in black wool with red swirls forming vaguely tentacular designs running along the edges. Kanaya says something about cashmere, and looks quite flustered as you wrap it around your neck. Holy shit, you are never taking this off.  
Gift #8: Vriska snatches the opportunity to dump her box in your lap and shoot you a smirk. You aren’t sure whether to be scared or annoyed. Cautiously, you open it to find a “Magic 8 8all!”  
“VRISKA, WHAT IS THIS.”  
“It’s o8viously an 8-8all, stupid. 8ut this one’s special! Try iiiiiiiit!”  
Mentally, you ask the ball whether something bad will happen to Vriska soon. You shake and flip it, waiting for the blue die to surface. When it does, the letters spell out, ‘What do you think, stupid?’ Oh. A sarcastic one. This is actually pretty cool, even though these things never work and you’d never actually tell her that. Instead, you set it down on the table before you, forgetting about it for now.   
Gift #9: The one guest you don’t know very well finally stops lurking in the corner behind his shades to come forward with a tube-shaped parcel. You met Equius through Nepeta, who has been his best friend since they were little, but apparently he and Aradia also had some…history. From what you’ve heard he’s kind of creepy, quiet, has a disquieting stare, and very athletic. Evidence seems to back you up here. As you open his present, he starts to speak, “I apologize STRONGLY if what I bought is not in your interests.” He has a soft, yet deep voice that doesn’t sound as if it gets much use. You reassure him that the poster for your favorite romcom is perfect, as Nepeta whispers something to him and - did he just start sweating?  
Gift #10: The last before Aradia is Tavros, who looks nervous as his wheelchair rolls forward and he hands you a lopsided bundle. You can honestly say that you have no idea what it is. Vriska smirks once again as you unwrap a fake sickle.   
“uHH„ iT WAS VRISKA’S IDEA„„ so yOU COULD„ uh, cOME LARP WITH US.”  
“Yessssssss! We weren’t sure what you’d want, so we picked something from the sale 8in.”  
“WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS.”  
“Come join team Scourge o8viously! ::::D”   
“i tHOUGHT WE, uh„ aGREED HE COULD JOIN, teAM CHARGE?”  
You let them bicker as you test the high quality foam weapon. It’s actually pretty fun to swing around, but you can’t picture going out and whacking a bunch of people with it for fun. Not that often, anyway.

Karkat: Open the Fateful Gift

You still have one gift left until the party’s officially done, and its only about ten thirty. Your sweet loot is all around you, but there’s still one more mystery addition. As Aradia places it in your hands she winks, murmurs “use it well,” and returns to Sollux’s lap. It’s heavy, and doesn’t rattle when you shake it. As you tear the paper off, your suspicions are confirmed as a HUGE black book is uncovered. It looks to be as old as civilization and newly printed at the same time, and is well over six hundred pages long. The cover says nothing but the words ‘~ATH: The Ultimate Guide’ in white block letters. With reverence, you flip open the front cover and remove from the pocket built into the book several CDs. It’s then that you realize it’s a programming language handbook.  
“what the fuck iis that, AA? ii thought ii knew all the codes.”  
A programming language that Sollux doesn’t know. Oh, Aradia...You know what you’re spending tonight on.   
“OH, SORRY ASSWIPE. I GUESS YOU DON’T, AND YOU AREN’T GOING TO UNTIL I AM THE FUCKING MASTER OF ~ATH.”  
“shiit, KK! one look, that’s iit.”  
“MAYBE TOMORROW, IF I DEEM YOU WORTHY.”  
“fuck you”  
“LOVE YOU TOO.”  
“st0p that, please. i th0ught karkat w0uld like having s0mething 0f his own t0 w0rk 0n, but didn’t mean f0r it n0t t0 be shared.”  
“FINE. I JUST HAVE TO MAKE ONE FUCKING PROGRAM, OKAY? CAN YOU EVEN WAIT THAT LONG? ‘OH LOOK AT ME, FUCKING SWEET HACKS ALL OVER, YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE MY FIIIINGERS IIII’M SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU’”  
“yes, ii do have an attentiion span of over fiive seconds, KK. can we just get on wiith thiis? ii thiink ED just fell asleep.”

Karkat: Formally End Party

“Yes. I Believe Since Everything Has Been Taken Care Of And Everyone Presumably Is Ready To Leave We Can Say Our Farewells.”  
“WAKE UP FUCKASSES. PARTY’S OVER, TIME TO SLOG YOUR FATTENED AND FAYGO-LOADED PITIFUL EXCUSES FOR SELVES OUT OUR DOOR AND BACK HOME.”  
“WeLl I gUeSs It’S bYe NoW mOtHeRfUcKeR. :o( iT wAs FuN.”  
“X33 bye Karkitty!!”  
“ascjk;’sd - wwhat? huh? did i miss somefin?  
“H-EE h-EE! It’s okay. Let’s go! Thanks Karcrab!”  
“WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE SOME KIND OF SHITTY NICKNAME FOR M-”  
“H3H3H3 BY3 K4RKL3S! H4V3 FUN W1TH JUDG3 CH3RRYP4W.”  
Everyone bar you, Sollux, and Aradia is soon gone. Briefly, you wonder how so many of them could come over the summer but soon realize that it must be your incredible air of leadership and friendliness. Aradia kisses Sollux goodbye and smiles at you, “g00d luck with y0ur c0des. d0n’t f0rget t0 d0uble check” Sollux smirks, “y0ur w0rk.”  
“I’M FINE. WHO ARE YOU, MY MOM? IF YOU WERE, I’M AFRAID I’D HAVE TO REPORT PARENTAL ABUSE ON DAD, WHO BEATS ME INTO THE GROUND IF I CAN’T PLEASE HIM.”  
“fuck thiis, ii’m done wiith you. bye AA, see you soon.”  
Sollux absconds with his laptop to your room, and Aradia just waves goodbye and departs.

Karkat: Stay Up Way Too Late Programming

You take a look at the CDs included in your book. It’s a ton of data, which according to the book’s introduction contains every reference source you could need for any code in the book. And the book is long. It looks like Sol’s light is turned off, and you don’t want to wake him up. The time is right. You pull out your cheap laptop and start the ~ATH installation. It’s a little unusual, but it takes a ridiculously short amount of time to get all the contents installed. The book’s first page is open at your side, the very basics laid out right there. With a single cracking of your knuckles, you start to type. From that moment on, your recollection gets a bit unclear. You’re pretty sure you set the target to Sollux, but maybe you remember something about your PesterChum contacts also getting slipped in? And maybe yourself? You’re pretty sure you meant to use the thingy for fucking up his WoW account, because you know you set it to species(612), just picking the first number off the top of your head out of the hundreds listed. But there’s still that little nagging fear…You’re pretty sure you forgot to check your work. You’re pretty sure you ran it anyway. And you’re pretty sure that you are the worst hacker who ever lived. It’s you.

Karkat: Royally Fuck Shit Up

Unfortunately, you think you just did that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sollux: Wake Up  
  
** Fine. Not like there was anything else you were planning on doing. You yawn, stretch, feel a headache coming on, and prepare to keep lying in bed. You just happen to be scratching your arm when you start to realize something. It hurts more than that time when you hadn’t trimmed your nails in a month, which is to say very painful, and a quick investigation reveals that not only have you grown claws overnight, your skin happens to have turned gray. You have to stare at your hand for a few moments before this actually starts to sink in. “holy shiit,” is what you try to say, but for some reason it comes out more like, “holy thhiit.” For some reason your head is also currently killing you, and it doesn’t feel like one of your migraines; more like a dull throb on the outside of your head and a full on fireworks show on the inside. Now that you can sort of think about it, your whole body is feeling a bit off. With a feeling of dread slowly rising up, you manage to stumble into the bathroom.  ****  
  
Sollux: Flip Out  
  
That is definitely a thing you are doing. As quietly as possible, because you’re not sure how KK would react to seeing you right now and don’t want to find out. It’s hard to look back at the mirror, but you force yourself to, even if it’s just out of curiosity. Your eyes were the first thing you noticed. It looked like your glasses had melded to your face, and then started glowing. Just a sphere of red and a sphere of blue, no other features. The second thing (or things) you saw were the horns. Two pairs of sharp candy corn orange horns which felt weird when you rubbed them, and freak you out a little more than your new creepy blank red and blue eyes. Then you noticed the fangs. They didn’t even really fit in your mouth, and seemed way too big too belong on your jaw. You couldn’t even close your mouth without them hanging out. You now seemed to have sharp carnivore teeth all over the place, ruining years of braces’ progress, and as you opened your mouth to get a better look, you almost screamed. Why the hell was your tongue YELLOW? And why was it forked? As you get more agitated, the lights glow brighter, and for a moment you think you see sparks. You file this thought away and decide to experiment with that later. But at the moment, you are still too busy flipping out to notice the red and blue lightning dancing out of your eyes and over your body.

** **

**  
Sollux: Be Karkat Instead  
  
** You are now someone who isn’t currently flipping out. Actually, you heard him run to the bathroom and back just a few minutes ago. But you don’t know he’s panicking, so you are still feeling happy and satisfied. You are in this state when he enters the living room. He’s wearing the sweatshirt Kanaya gave him, the yellow and black one, with the hood up, his usual weird 3D glasses, and sweatpants. You can’t see his face at all from here, and his hands are stuffed into his pockets. “hey. KK.”  
“WHAT. I’M UP.”  
“can ii thee…um, look at that book AA gave you?”  
“WELL, I GUESS I DID SAY IT WAS OKAY. AND I’VE ALREADY RUN MY PROGRAM. I BET YOU CAN’T EVEN MAKE ANYTHING HALF AS GOOD AS WHAT I SHAT OUT LAST NIGHT.”  
He visibly tenses up, then slowly relaxes again.  
“can you altho thend me that code? pleathe?”  
“WOW. SOLLUX CAPTOR ACTUALLY SAYING PLEASE? FINE. YOU MAY LOOK OVER THE BEAUTY THAT IS MY FIRST ~ATH FILE. I’LL SEND IT TO YOU, AFTER YOU THHHHTOP THAT THHHHTUPID LITHHHP.”  
He looks worried as he starts to read the book, and you see him flinch at your mocking. That was weird. He usually at least responds.   
“jutht thut up for a thecond, KK. ii thiink ii found thomething interethting.”  
God, you hate that lisp.  
“WHAT? ME? SHUT UP? NO, I THINK YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON. OR CAN YOU NOT LITHHP IT OUT TO ME. I’M SERIOUS HERE.”  
“ii’ll be riight back. thut the fuck up and waiit for onthe.”  
He storms back into his room with the book and CDs. You briefly wonder what’s going on before picking up one of your romcoms and starting to read. Absentmindedly, you scratch your head. There are a few sore spots, but you decide to ignore them as you send Sollux the code and fall right back asleep.  
 **  
Sollux: RTFM  
  
** You are currently R’ing TFM. So far, you haven’t really liked what you’ve seen; in fact you strongly dislike what you’ve read. Your hood is down, and it’s hard to describe the way your horns are feeling better now, but you know that you’re thinking more clearly now. The very first thing you noticed was that KK’s code was almost indecipherable, a problem you quickly took care of, and that it looks like after awhile he just gave up and started banging on the keyboard. The second is what makes you question AA’s sanity and KK’s reading skills, because apparently this book lets you program reality. Huh. You really could have put this thing to good use. Too bad some shouty asshole had to give everyone the worst birthday present of their lives. It only takes about an hour to find out exactly what he did, and how you could have reversed it in ordinary circumstances, where KK didn’t apply some bullshit lock and prevent any reversion or deletion. You allow yourself a few moments to ponder the fuck out of his idiocy. Unfortunately, it is simply too vast for even your enormous intellect to comprehend. At the end, you are able to deduce that what the program did was quite simple. When run, it would transform each of you into species(612) in exactly 12 hours starting with you, then starting on the next target in zodiac order when you finished, whatever that meant. But he’d entered a weird version of that part, so the order was even more complicated, and then just probably started tapping in the first word he saw on the page. You eventually click over to the vast library of resource info provided, get some fascinating reading done on the subject, and immediately regret some of it. From this info you make a chart of the next victims:   
1\. 2ollux; yellow blood  
2\. KK; liime blood  
3\. Tavro2; brown blood  
4\. Nepeta; oliive blood  
5\. AA; red blood  
6\. KN; jade blood  
7\. FF; piink blood  
8\. TZ; teal blood  
9\. ED; viiolet blood  
10\. Vrii2ka; cerulean blood  
11\. GZ; purple blood  
12\. EQ; blue blood  
  
You then proceed to spend a few more hours actually bothering to learn the code and being really annoyed by this headache which won’t leave.  
  
Sollux: Check Time  
  
You pause your reading into the subject of Troll Biology to glance at the clock in the bottom corner of your screen. It’s only six pm, but since KK’s out cold on the couch (you saw him there when you snuck out to get some leftovers a few hours ago) he’s probably about to start reaping what he’s sown. You smirk, accentuating the gesture with your shitty fangs. You wouldn’t want to miss him waking up for anything.

**Author's Note:**

> It looked a lot longer when I was writing it...


End file.
